if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
