But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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