He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
