I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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