Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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