go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
