hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
