What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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