Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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