I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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