in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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