If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
