Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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