it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
