I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
