i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
