I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I love you.
Bad choice
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
