People with herpes should wear stickers.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
