We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
