Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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