Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
