I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
