At least make sure they are 18
Why
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
