Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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