What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
