I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
