I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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