i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
