He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
