Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
