do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
