Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
