he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
