shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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