May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
