i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
