i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
