Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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