It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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