Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
