Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
