4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
