That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
