we have pet lesbian snakes
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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