She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
