Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
