Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
