Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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