im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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