I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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