After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
